you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
