I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
