I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
