she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
