absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
