Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
