He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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