Are my feet made of real feet?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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