Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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