Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
