so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I didn't notice because vodka
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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