sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
