I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
