Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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