Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
