Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
