im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
