So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
