Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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