He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
