my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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