"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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