It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
BRING THE BAGELS
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
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