those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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