i need an iv and a liver transplant
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
