I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
