wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
