Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
