WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he was CRYING into my vagina
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
