instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
