Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
