So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
