every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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