How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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