he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
