Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
