found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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