You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
