Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Holy shit dude........stairs
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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