Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
