mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
