dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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