My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
