my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
