Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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