dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
