Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
