So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
