She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
