Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
