your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
