drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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